Friday, 30 July, 2010

Christchurch woman seeks an egg donor

Desperate to be a mum, a Christchurch woman with a genetic condition that means she cannot conceive is advertising for an egg donor after two failed in vitro fertilisation (IVF) cycles.

Can you help Lisa? Email

Lisa never thought she would consider an egg donor, but said she doesn't want her inability to conceive to be her life's story.

She doesn't want to feel odd around friends and family with children, and instead wants to put her grief and anger aside and get on with her life.

But first she needs to try a donor egg to see if it will succeed where two IVF courses failed.

Now 38, there was never a time when Lisa even considered she might not be able to have children.

In a stable relationship for 10 years and married for five, she said she and her partner thought there was no hurry.

"Being able to have a family was something I took for granted."

But Lisa discovered she was the carrier of a hereditary condition that meant having children naturally wasn't an option.

The couple went through two treatment cycles. The egg harvesting went well but once the eggs became embryos only one from both cycles was worth implanting. The procedure failed.

"Trying IVF a third time would most likely end in the same heartbreaking result."

IVF was hard and the financial, emotional and physical burden too much to bear.

Lisa said the outcome has changed everything for her.

"I live daily with grief and feelings of shame surrounding my tainted femininity and inability to give life."

Her sister was also unable to have children, which means her quest for an egg needs to go beyond her immediate family.

She was widening her appeal to anyone willing to help. She needs someone between 21 and 37 who has completed her own family and who is willing to go through counselling, then IVF for no monetary reward, since egg donors are not allowed to be paid.

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